Monday, December 28, 2009

New Year's Eve Party For Those My Age...

Are you making plans
for New Year's Eve?

I use to be the life
of every New Year's Eve party,
but things changed.

I got older.

I go to sleep earlier.

Drinking and driving
ain't as popular
as it use to be.

I am afraid that my
alcohol induced memory lapses
could extend into full blown

I would have to wear
a Depends or run to
the bathroom every five minutes.

I have to put my glasses on
to see who is groping me.

Nobody asks for my ID anymore...
they ask for my AARP card.

I don't like to repeat myself
four or five times
so that my friends can hear me.

That little elastic strap
which holds on the party hat
cuts into my double chin.

Every man in the room
has nose hair and ear hair.

Somebody always spikes
the punch 
with Geritol!


trash talk said...

Besides, I can't find fishnets in support hose!

Sue said...

Come on girl, you KNOW you are TOTALLY the life of ANY party, for ANY age! What's that old saying about partying until the cows come home? Party on!

Lisa@Pickles and Cheese said...

Just found your blog today. You are hillarious! But I'll bet you already knew that! :)

Lou Cinda said...

This is so funny! But you aren't fooling me! I'd party with you anyday!

I am going to get the camera I want this week! LOL

Happy New Year!!

Lou Cinda