Thursday, April 30, 2009

A Star is Born...And Needs Your Help!

A Star Is Born!
Bella Marie
Okay, maybe she's a starlet!

And like many young ingenues,
she made her entrance on stage a little too early!
I mean, what was she to do?
The spotlight was on her...
they were calling her name!
Weighing in at only 15 ounces,
she made her grand entrance!

Look at her now...
the darling of the stage!
Does Shirley Temple have anything on this doll?
Absolutely not!
Move over, Curly Locks...
there's a new girl in town.
Of course, Bella comes from good acting stock.  Her grandmother is the award-winning, Debbie of Talking Trash and her grandfather is the hunky leading man, Cat Daddy. How could Bella not become a star? Unfortunately, no one expected Bella's performance to run so long. All I can say is that ticket prices are getting high! According to Bella's agents, Mom and Dad, the costs of developing a star are astronomical! So what can you do to help beautiful Bella?  It's easy...
Just go to this website
of this production company...

and buy a ticket!
No, not a theatre ticket...
a raffle ticket!
a spirited group of can can dancers,
have donated wonderful items as prizes
for the raffle!
Yes, you can can!
You can can help
if you buy buy buy!
Being presidents of the Bella Fan Club,
the Moonlight Hollow Girls/The Renaissance Chick
 have donated some props to the big raffle!

For Bella, we have donated the following items:
---10 original Moonlight Hollow 
Greeting Cards with envelopes
---a stunning Southwest necklace 
featuring a beautiful cross
(matching turquoise earrings not pictured but included)
---a white, metal, rhinestone 
embellished spangle bracelet
---a big, chunky black bracelet featuring the word "LOVE"
(because we love you, Bella!)

See you at the raffle!
Tickets go on sale May 1st!
To keep up with the publicity shots
of our favorite star, Bella,
check out these blogs:

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

An Award for Imogene (and Malisa)!

Debbie from Talking Trash
honored The Renaissance Chick with
the Kreativ Blogger Award.
Unfortunately, she awarded it to
Malisa AND Imogene!
You know what that means, don't you?
Let me just say a BIG THANKS
to Debbie at Talking Trash
as I have to hand the laptop
over to Imogene before she rips it from my fingers!
It is all yours, Imogene!

Hi, Debbie!  It's me...Imogene!  I truly want to thank you from the bottom of my girdle for giving me this award!  However, it is a tough assignment to think of seven thangs that I love!  It would have been much better if it had been seven thangs I hate. But rules are rules and you know that I am not a rule breaker! No, mam, my Mama raised me better than that!  So here goes...

Seven Things Imogene Loves

1.  I love the backseat of cars! That is where all my children were conceived! Of course, I was much younger and much more limber then.

2.  I love chicken fried anything! That golden crust just makes everything taste better.  I chicken fry everything I cook.  Steak, chicken, Snickers, Oreos…just about everything except Jello.  I tried chicken frying Jello once, but I ended up with one hell of a green mess!

3.  I love polyester double knit!  Double knit just makes my world go round! What else would a woman of style need in her closet?  You can roll around and sweat in the backseat of a car and never even get wrinkled.  Of course, that is because your double knit pantsuit is folded neatly in the front seat! 

4.  I love revivals!  I especially like those week long revivals.  It gives me something to do except sit home and watch reruns of Gunsmoke.  I love it when my best friend, Ethyl, gets the holy ghost in her!  I sit behind her and just watch her big rear bounce as she jumps up and down! I laugh, laugh, laugh and people just think I’m receiving the spirit too! I could do that for hours! I swear Ethyl’s rear looks like two sows in a tow sack!

5.  I love my prayer circle.  My prayer group dishes up more gossip than you get served at  the beauty shop! However, we do it for good reasons.  If we don’t talk about a person and their sins, how do we know what we are praying for? Let’s take Bernice for example. Bernice was recently caught by her neighbor as she was helping the Schwann’s man lighten his load and I’m not talking about his truck, if you know what I mean.  How could we pray without reviewing Bernice’s past discretions with the postman, the exterminator and the Bible salesman? Would you like for us to pray for you?

6.  I love Vacation Bible School!  Oh, no, I don’t work there.  Nope, I don’t even volunteer to make the Kool-Aid.  I just love Vacation Bible School because all the loud, little, crumb snatchers are over at the Baptist church eating those cheap, little windmill cookies and are not in my neighborhood bothering me.  I can sunbathe naked in peace.

7.  I love garage sales.  I never buy anything at the sales, but garage sales are the perfect opportunity to snoop in people’s private lives!  If I spot a stack of old Playboys for sale, I can really get under the wife’s skin by one simple comment, “Looks like somebody’s husband is having to go elsewhere!” If there are old clothes for sell, this comment gets ’em every time, “My gosh, I knew you had put on a little weight, but had no idea you were up to this size! I think I will buy this for Ethyl”. And if I see decorative liquor bottles for sale, I love to say, “Looks like somebody has a little drinking problem!  The prayer circle will be praying for you this week!” Garage sales are fun, fun, fun!

I don’t really think it is fair that I have to share this award, but Debbie from Talking Trash said I did and if I don't, everyone at the prayer circle will be talking about me. So here are seven bloggers who make Malisa smile or teach her something and the Good Lord knows those ain’t easy thangs to do! Most of these people just know Malisa and probably don’t even know me, but they better learn who I am because I am here to stay. 

Imogene's Lucky Seven (No, I have never shot craps!):  

Sue at Just Practicing Random Acts of Kindness---Sue is a real nice woman with a real nice blog. Personally, I have never figured out why she would hang around with Malisa. Lie down with dogs...get up with fleas, Sue!

Teresa at Cherry Checkers---Teresa is a sweetie pie who has a knack for sewing and gardening. Those are two thangs Malisa could definitely use help with!  Lord knows that Malisa needs the seams let out of her clothes on a regular basis!

Itkupilli at iTkUpiLLi---I have just one question.  What the hell does this say? Leave it to Malisa to be reading in tongues! Oh, I know who this blogger is...this is the blogger who created the background and header for The Renaissance Chick.  Personally, I don't see any reason to show all your private parts, but whatever floats your boat!

Sallymandy at The Blue Kimono---Is this a blog about lizards? And why does the lizard have a blue kimono on?  Well, whatever.  All I know is that Malisa likes this blog.  She says that Sallymandy is cool and has a very interesting blog. Guess you better check it out for yourself! 

Hutchins at Mommy With A Penis---Yes, you heard what I said. This is a Mommy With a Penis! Personally, I don't think Hutchins is his real name, but I can understand his need for privacy. Bless his heart, he is a mommy and has a penis...that is just too much to deal with. Makes me want to drink.

Suzie at First Floor Flat---Suzie is just smart as a whip on the computer.  Malisa is pretty much rides the short bus when it comes to computers.  I hope Malisa reads the blog alot. Maybe she will learn something, bless her heart!

Jody at Tumbleweed Trails---As I understand it, Jody is pretty new to this bloggin' stuff. Anyway, she must not be "all there" because she named her blog after those big old round weeds that blow up under my Ford Falcon and make that awful noise as I drag 'em down the highway! Looks like she could have named her blog after something purty, doesn't it?

Another big thanks to Debbie at Talking Trash! You are the first blogger who has recognized me, Imogene! I know we are going to be great friends! If any of you bloggers who received this award don't know me, Imogene, you need to check The Renaissance Chick's post yesterday! Now it is your time to give this award...and follow the rules...or I will come after you like a bat out of hell!

The Rules:
1. List 7 things that you LOVE
2. Link to the person who has tagged you
3. Choose 7 more bloggers to give the Kreativ Blogger Award to
4. Comment on those 7 blogs to let the recipients know you chose them

Ya'll be watching out for me...
I'll be back!


Sunday, April 26, 2009

Guest Blogger...Imogene Is Coming Soon!

I tried to stop her.  Honestly, I did!  However, she won't leave me alone. She is very persistent and tends to get on my nerves until I just give her what she wants.  Talk about nagging! She is like the damn Energizer Bunny...she just goes on and on and on...until she gets her way!  I hope you will forgive me.  Please be kind to her.  She is just an old lady with opinions.  Oh, baby, she has lots of opinions!  

So with all that said, I am going to give her a try.  Yes, I am allowing Imogene to be a guest blogger.  What?  You don't know Imogene?  Imogene is pictured above. She is the blonde chick on the left.  I wouldn't have even recognized her if she hadn't been in the picture with her best friend, Ethyl.  I have NEVER seen the woman smile. When I asked Imogene about this picture, she told me the following: 

"Ethyl drug me down to the damn Woolworths because Olan Mills was in town and you can't convince me that she didn't have the hots for that greasy little photographer. That shrimpy little tease behind the camera kept squeaking a rubber duck in my face until he forced me to throw one of those rubber balls at him. It hit him square in the head, and I'll be damn if he didn't snap the picture as I was laughing at his pathetic ass.  Ethyl loves this picture.  She even put it in the Baptist church directory! Nobody knows me from Adam!"

Sorry, blogging buddies! Surely you can put up with her one day a week.  You MUST remember that Imogene is totally out of control and is totally politically incorrect!  She really can't help it though. She doesn't get out much.  You see, Imogene lives deep down inside of me and only gets to run around town when she and Ethyl are performing on stage!  But I do have to warn you that once Imogene comes out, I have NO CONTROL...absolutely NO CONTROL!  Imogene says what she wants to say and says it how she wants to say it!  She is a small town, chicken-fried, Texas woman who is not going to be told what to do!

You have been warned.  I hope you love Imogene.  She grows on you! 

By the way, when Imogene is blogging, I request that readers don't copy any of her words because Imogene is an original...and because she will come slap the snot of you if you do!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

What Have I Done?

Okay, what have I done?
I am accustomed to messing up. That's the way I function. At this point, I feel like I am asking myself, "Why Am I Here?". I already have one blog, Moonlight Hollow.  So why another blog? Originally, I started The Renaissance Chick so that I would have a writing outlet. I needed a blog which would allow me to be me.  Yes, I am me in Moonlight Hollow, but you know what I'm talking about...the other side of me...the side my Mother constantly reminds me to keep under control. 

So, how is the writing blog going for me? I post pictures with captions...only dipping my toes in the water. It has been so long since I revealed my inner self, I'm not sure if I can still tread water anymore. What if I bare my soul and sink straight to the bottom without anyone reaching out to pull me up for another lap? Or worse yet, what if I put it out there for all the whole world to see and the words cause no ripple and no one notices and I drown in my wordless thoughts? 

Then there is always the danger of offending. The me from years ago would never have thought twice about the offensive word. A woman with opinions will offend. Perhaps it has been my career for the last twelve years which has made me shy from stating my opinion loud and clear, but that career is over. The old me is clawing her way to the surface...tired of being suppressed and hidden away from judging eyes...tired of being discouraged from making the political statement which might offend.

I have decided that followers come and go, but those who support with an open mind are here to stay. Hang with me. I might find my voice. 


Tuesday, April 21, 2009


I am at a crossroad...
where should I go?

Monday, April 20, 2009

Words to Live By...

Life is one big adventure...
a true learning experience!
Wisdom comes with the years.
May I share some wise
words to live by?
These are easy lessons...
pay attention...
you may not get a second chance!

Never sit on a toilet seat!

Don't borrow clothes without asking!

Always carry a condiment!

Keep a six pack in the refrigerator at all times!

Always check the health department findings!

Variety is the spice of life!

There...I feel better!
Did you take notes?
Have fun...
but be careful out there!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Won't You Join Me?

My spiritual leader,
Joel Osteen,
taught me a valuable lesson today.
He said that when people make you mad...
when people don't treat you right...
when you are feeling down...
So I am smiling...alot!
Won't you join me?

But I still want...
(Photo courtesy of

Oh, yeah...
I am smiling!

Saturday, April 18, 2009


Dear Other Side of the Fence Buddies:
This post isn't about politics...
it is not Democrat v Republican...
it is about behavior...
and I had to get it off my chest (the big girls).
I certainly don't want to offend you,
but if it does, just tune me out.
I am pretty upset about this guy's behavior!
Like Cher said yesterday on a comment to me,
"We might just have to agree about not agreeing."
I Want This Clown Out of Office!

(Photo courtesy of

For those of you who don't recognize this Bozo...
it is the jester governor of the State of Texas,
Rick Perry!

Now, you need to know that I am a PROUD TEXAN...
who is totally embarrassed by the
private and public conduct of this clown!
My great grandparents travelled to Texas
in wagons, camped peacefully across the lake
from the Native Americans and ended up settling
the Texas town where I grew up!
I have deep Texas roots...
and loads of Texas pride!
If you aren't a Texan, you might not understand
the pride we Texans take in our state.
Yes, we boast and brag...
we are big spirited people with an unnatural love
for our beautiful state.
Because of our grandiose pride,
we aren't always loved by others.
We have enough problems with our image
without this knucklehead governor
saying that Texas might be forced
to secede from the Union!
Oh, great...
Another nut job!
I don't know who Rick Perry thinks
he is speaking for...
but he is not speaking for me
or the majority of Texans!
According to the latest Rasmussen poll,
only 18% of Texas voters would vote to secede
if the election was held today,
while 75% of voters oppose secession...
that leaves 7% who don't give a damn!
So who the hell are you speaking for, Perry?
Not me!
Not for three-quarters of Texas voters!
So why are you talking such
asinine nonsense to the public?
It is not like our state's reputation hasn't already been
damaged by the previous guy...

You notice the ambulance in the background?
That is because the reputation of Texas needs
a little first aid after the legacy of idiocy.
These two have done more damage than imaginable!
As a proud Texan, it is time for me to stand up

You wouldn't believe it by looking at this photo...
but Perry was a yell leader at Texas A&M.

Yell leader is a cheerleader to the rest of the world.

If we have learned nothing else from history,

haven't we learned NOT to elect a cheerleader?

Dubyah was a cheerleader!

Perry's yell leader photo was on the web at one time,

but has mysteriously disappeared.

How convenient.

Oh, yes, Perry, an elected official...

elected to represent the people of Texas...

was in attendance at the Austin "tea party"!

Perry was "on the clock" and took

government time to protest what?

Oh, yeah, now I remember.
We have Obama in the White House.
Taxes and buyouts didn't seem to bother Perry
when Bush was in office.
If he is fed up with the the economy,
why wasn't he protesting in Bush's Dallas neighborhood?
Never mind. It wasn't about the economy!
According to news sources, this photo
was taken at Rick Perry's inauguration?
Interesting, isn't it?
A black tie inauguration event
with Ted Nugent dressed in a Confederate flag shirt...
using machine guns as props...
and being disrespectful to non-English speaking Americans!
Oh, don't give me that crap about Confederate flags
being a part of our heritage...
I was in the Texas public education system for 30 years.
The kids and the parents who wore Confederate flags
weren't interested in history or culture!

I would insert the video of Perry trying to strong arm

the policeman who pulled him over for speeding,

but that video is no longer on the web either.


All that is left is this bumper sticker...

Perry's famous statement to the police officer.

"Why don't you just let us get on down the road?"





Friday, April 17, 2009

The Gloves Are Coming Off...

Watch out...

Don't say I didn't warn you...
because it is coming!

I have been more than a little
tired of some things going on lately!

I am feeling the urge...
to shout in the streets...
to make a spectacle of myself!

I am fed up with people who have
their heads up their butts!

You might see the ugly side of me!

But I'm holding my tongue today...

Or you might think I have Mad Cow!

But be warned...
this chick is pulling out
the big girls...
er, I mean guns!

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

American Idol Is Over!

Face it.
American Idol is over
this season!

There may be seven finalists left...

But this guy, Adam, has it in the bag!

Women want to do him...
Men want to do him...

And by saying "do him"...
I meant his hair, of course!

Now, the sexy lad is singing
our Chick anthem...

Born To Be Wild!

The rest of you contestants
can just go on home!
Pick up your participation medal
on the way out the door...