What Were They Thinking?

What were they thinking...

when they decided to sell

guns and alcohol

in the same store?

If that isn't stupid enough,

you can even buy them through

a drive up window!

I'll have a six pack and

a 38 Special to go, please...

wait, make that a magnum

and a magnum!

I thought maybe this was

just a Texas problem...

but, no!

There are idiots everywhere!

Drinking and carrying a gun

isn't enough of a problem?

Wow, let's add some stairs

just for the fun of it!

Oh, the combination of

guns and alcohol

didn't kill you?

Heck, let's add in

some tobacco!

And let's make it

an American duty!

Are you a little drunk?

Having trouble focusing

your eyes to read the small signs?

Hey, let us enlarge it for you!

Don't forget bullets...

what good is a gun

without bullets?

Oh, thank goodness...

they didn't exclude us wine lovers!

Been out shooting and drinking

a little too late?

Just stop by here and pick

up dinner and a gift

for the spouse!

Need to sober up?

Just stop by this place...

get your caffeine and handgun

before you go home...

a shot and a shot!

What were they thinking?

Baby Bella Bash!

Are you coming to

the shower?

Better hurry...

we are already here!

This is the party of the year...

honoring our sweet Bella...

daughter of Jenn of Preemie Donna

and granddaughter of

Debbie of Talking Trash!

Isn't she precious in pink?

She's all dressed up for the shower!

Hope you are wearing pink!

This is my outfit for the shower.

I was hesitant to wear it since

Trash Talk has one just like it...

we got a 2 for 1 deal!

I didn't want to overdress though

so I wore my favorite,

most stylish shoes!

I drove some of the girls

to the shower in my car!

We put the top down and

started honking when we

got close to Debbie's house!

Debbie had sweet talked

Cat Daddy into painting

the house for Bella's shower!

Debbie was on the front porch

waiting on us to get there!

Doesn't she look pretty?

She is still watching out the

front window for your arrival!

Debbie has Bella's

baby book by the front door...

don't forget to sign it!

Jenn showed us the pretty

chandelier that Cat Daddy

had planned on installing in

Bella's room...

until Debbie got involved!

Jenn had us all put on

a pair of these sunglasses

and then took us to Bella's room

to see the chandelier Debbie

picked out!

Wow! Good job, Debbie!

Bella, you are off to a good start!

After the heat from that

chandelier, Jenn thought

it was time for a drink!

We had cosmopolitans!

Yum!

Then after a "couple" of

cosmopolitans, Jenn brought

out this fantastic cake!

What?

I have icing where?

My goodness, that cake made

us a little thirsty...

so Debbie mixed a few

pink mojitos...

a few dozen, that is!

Then the shower got loud

and giggly and we all gave Jenn

our best Mother advice.

This was the advice I gave Jenn.

I don't know what got into me!

All that laughing and talking...

well, we were just parched

and dipped into that

fruity, boozy punch!

Well, they don't call me

a double dipper for nothin'!

Then we were laughing so hard...

We had to run out here!

I don't know why Debbie

didn't trust us in the house!

When we came in from the

pink port-a-potties...

I call them canopies...

get it? Can 'o pee?

Anyway, when we came inside,

Debbie made us wash our hands

with these little soaps she has

made during all her spare time!

Is it hot in here or is it just me?

Oh, yes, yes, yes!

Pink champagne cocktails

would cool us right off!

Debbie, don't drink right out

of the bottle!

What is wrong with you?

Were you raised in a barn?

Oh, really?

No, Debbie!

These gifts are not for you!

Get your grubby little paws off of...

Oh, my, did I just say that?

I don't know what got

into me, Debbie...

you little trash talking...

Oh, there I go again!

If I didn't know better,

I would swear there was

alcohol in those drinks!

Here, Jenn!

Presents for Bella!

Open them! Open them! Open them!

What, Debbie?

Oh, maybe just a little more...

well, don't stop there...

fill it all the way to the rim!

Open them! Open them! Open them!

Oh, look, Bella got a beautiful

little tiara!

Jenn, could you get that

off of your mother's head?

Who in the world had the

good taste to bring Bella these

marveeeeeeeeeeelous little shoes?

Why, look...they are like the ones

I have on!

What?

I don't have shoes on anymore?

Oh, look...

Bella got a motorcyle rocker!

Get off, Debbie! Get off!

Could a motorcyle princess

go without a pink

mohawk hat?

I think not!

Sweet Bella got a pink

princess phone so she

can call on her aunties

when Mommy Jenn says "no"!

Now, I don't mean to be

rude...but why in the world

would anybody give Bella this

pink saddle?

Oh, evidently to go

on this gift...

a pink horse!

Bella, you rock, girlfriend!

Then somebody (Sue)

had to give Jenn this silly gift!

Oh, yes, champagne cocktails were

being snorted out of nostril all

over the room...

and the laughter began again...

and here we go again...

Thank goodness, Debbie

ordered two can o' pees

because so many people

were there!

Mindy from Primitiques 'n Poetry

looked might nice!

Sue came all the way

from California!

Guess she was Just Practicing Random

Acts of Kindness!

She looks good...

for a vegan, hippie, liberal

California girl!

Amy from Whisperwood Cottage

cleans up real well!

Who knew they wore clothes

like that in Minnesota?

Amy even brought her dog,

Tanner, with her to the shower!

Bella will love to play with Tanner

when she comes home!

I've been looking for Cher,

The Texas Woman, but haven't

seen her at the shower.

She is probably busy posting

pics of her ta-tas!

You know who else is

missing from this shower?

Laurie and Lulu

from the 2Chippys!

Oh, there they are...

good to see you girls!

Bella, Madisyn sends her

love to you!

She can't wait for you

to get home so you two girls

can go shopping

and flirt with boys!

Yes, Jenn! Flirt with boys!

Bella, Tango sends his love to you.

He can't wait to meet you!

He heard you are quite the looker!

Watch out, Jenn!

Aunt Malisa loves you,

Baby Bella!

Hope you enjoyed your shower

as much as we did!

Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth!

I couldn't have said

it better myself!

I don't know where

this came from...

but bravo to whoever

created this jewel!

If anybody knows,

let me know so I can give credit!

Bonus points for making my laugh!

Get Out The Corkscrew!

Since Lurch's heart surgery,

we drink less of the good old stuff...

bourbon and the other nectars of the gods....

and have converted to wine.

I have always been a lover of red wine...

especially the cabernet sauvignons.

But in the Texas heat,

I want a cold drink.

I recently took a shopping trip to Spec's

in search of a white wine

that I could chill and love!

After explaining to Spec's wine expert

that I dislike a sweet wine or a tart wine,

he suggested several bottles for me to try.

None filled the bill....

until I tried this one!

Yep, it's my new

summer drink of choice!

Here is a review

of this wine.

Thanks Wine Taster!

Tasca d’Almerita makes two very reliable everyday “table” wines from its Regaleali property, one white, one red. This is the white — Bianco — and the 2004 vintage is still fresh and enjoyable.

In an attempt to clear up some confusion: Tasca d’Almerita is the name of the winemaking family that owns the Regaleali estate. Generally speaking, wines made by “the Count” — Count Tasca d’Almerita that is — are referred to as “Regaleali”. Whether you call it Regaleali or Tasca d’Almerita, the wine is the same — and it’s usually very good. The Regaleali Bianco is made from three grapes indigenous to Sicily — Inzolia, Catarrato, and Grecanico — but you won’t see these grapes anywhere else so it’s not necessarily important to commit them to memory.

Regaleali Bianco teases the nose with subtle aromas of pear, straw, and lemon, but the wine really comes alive in the mouth. Fresh, clean, ripe white fruits are tasted immediately, specifically pear, white peach, and a citrusy component that resembles lemon. The fruit remains strong and seems to increase in concentration as it lays on the palate, and stays ripe and apparent through a surprisingly long and balanced finish. This wine’s ample, chalky acidity and hint of mineral make it a wonderful wine to match with a wide variety of foods, especially dishes based on chicken, fish, and pork — I’d also recommend it with Asian cuisine and vegetarian dishes. At around around a dozen dollars, this wine gives you a lot of bang for the buck. A good value.

I'm sipping on a glass right now...

Cheers!

Police Blotter of the Week!

Police Blotter

of the Week

Every week, when I get my hometown paper,

I read the police blotter and laugh out loud!

For those of you who are from large cities,

you must understand that my hometown

is a very small Texas town.

I was amused this week as I received a funny

email from my cousin, Glenda, who also reads

the same hometown paper. This week, she

sent out an email entitled,

Police Blotter of the Week!

What a fantastic idea!

So, I will rely on Glenda's weekly

selection of the funniest item reported

in the police blotter!

Hope you enjoy...

and laugh!

Wednesday, July 8th

8:42 PM.......Caller in the 1400 block of West Elm reported that a bird hit a wall and was unable to fly. Officer went to check out the situation and the bird flew away.