She changed my life. Before she entered my world, I lacked a true understanding of myself. I had lost myself in a world of men. My world was filled with language which excluded me. While my husband and sons, loved me and honored me, I lived a solitary life...always knowing that something was missing.
Then Madisyn entered into the world. God gave me not only a granddaughter, he gave me a total new outlook on life. Suddenly, there was a reason to celebrate being female. As Madisyn grew, I was astonished that she imitated me, that she wanted to be like me. I found myself wanting to be like her. We are our own mutual admiration society! And life is so sweet. It is filled with laughter...sweet, sweet girlie laughter!
My granddaughter, Madisyn, and I live far away from each other so our visits are precious and cherished. Regardless of any circumstances, it is understood that we are always best friends sharing a bed at night. Amongst the stuffed animals and special baby dolls, we have our best conversations. It is our time for sharing secrets. In her Sponge Bob pajamas, Madisyn will snuggle next to me and I find myself trying to match her breathing patterns. One night, as we had begun to drift off to sleep, Madisyn raised her big eyes toward me and said, "Grammy, I dream about you sometimes." I was moved to tears at the look on her face and the seriousness in her voice. "You come to me at night and talk to me and I talk to you." As her eyes searched my face for understanding, I asked her if that made her feel good to dream about me. "Yes, because then we can be together anytime I need you."
We have that magical bond. We both understand that we will always be there for the other...regardless of distance and miles. She overfills my heart with love. She fills my life with wonder and discovery. She makes me proud to be a woman.
In a phone conversation with Madisyn last week, I couldn't hold my feelings back one minute longer and I blurted out how much I missed her. My wise, best friend...my six year old granddaughter spilled magical words into my ear:
" I miss you too Grammy. I miss you so much. But you know what? You're always in my heart, Grammy."
Well, Madisyn, you are always in my heart too. But you are more than that. You are my soul. No matter the time of the day or night, you are in my mind. You are the part of me that makes me complete. You are me. I am you. That bond holds my heart together.