Sunday, August 30, 2009

I Watch Him Sleep...

I watch him sleep.

I do this a lot lately. I listen to his breathing and watch his chest rise and fall....always praying that there will be another rise to fall. Holding my own breath at times until I see the subtle intake in his lungs.

I watch him sleep.

It gives me time to study the changes without him knowing I am looking. In the past, I never got the chance to watch him sleep. When I opened my eyes, his smiling face would always be there...watching me.

I watch him sleep.

And try not to imagine life without him. My life began with him and ends with him. I look for the place where I end and he begins, but it doesn't exist. We are one.

I watch him sleep.

And remember how he took the lives of two little people who were stuck in the middle and created a beautiful life for them...always making sure that they knew they were loved...unconditionally...eternally.

I watch him sleep.

At times, he turns and I see him the way he was...before. I miss that strength, that confidence, that cockiness to conquer the world. He turns again and I am reminded of now. I am amazed at the gentleness, the perseverance, the dedication.

I watch him sleep.

And thank God for the next breath...for the next year...for my life.


trash talk said...

You are breaking my heart. Hold fast and think only positive thoughts. He's yours now...drown in the moment.

Tamis said...

watching someone sleep is a beautiful thing. While they are at rest and peaceful. Take in the moment to retain those memories that will last the rest of your days.

AlpHa Buttonpusher said...


Ann said...

the absolute beauty of your words...I almost felt as though I were intruding on a very private moment...thank you for sharing a piece of your heart with us.

Sue said...

Hey Girlfriend, "finally" the heartfelt post I asked you to write because "I" better than anyone know what has been inside of you for so very long needed to come out! Thank you for putting all these feelings of yours that have been bottled up inside of you for months, out there, through your "typed" words. Larry will be fine, how can he not? He's got this crazy ass Texas woman awake at night making sure he is okay. . love you girl, always here for you, even if I'm miles away!

Woman in a Window said...

oh you gorgeous gorgeous woman.
you really should post warnings on these things.
reminds me of something. maybe i'll write it out if i get a moment.