You Are Invited To My New Year's Eve Party!

The Renaissance Chick 

is having a New Year's Eve Party 

and you are invited!

Ready for a stiff one?

Here is where we

are having the party!

I know you know your way!

Might I suggest

a limousine for tonight?

I know you will want to impress!

We are waiting on you!

Everyone is here already!

Hurry!

There will be dancing...

and drinking...

and more dancing...

and more drinking...

and even some hanging

from the chandeliers!

Uncle Bob will be there

with his spoiled ass dog!

There will probably be

 some embarrassing moments...

which will make us

drink some more...

and dance some more!

Aunt Hazel will have her

annual fit about Uncle Bob

and his dog...

which will lead to a 

potty hugging conclusion!

There is gonna be some

kissing at midnight...

and I can guarantee that

someone will need help

getting home!

Just try to keep

your clothes on

and my tablecloth off!

And please stay off of

the stripper pole!

You aren't a spring

chicken anymore...

remember?

By the end of the night,

I am sure we will all

need  some back ups!

And what a mess there will be

when all of you finally leave!

But nobody goes anywhere

until we see the fireworks!

Thanks for being at my party

this year...

and I SO look forward to

the 365 party days

of 2010!

Belle of the New Year's Eve Ball...

Okay, boys...

who wants to 

pop my balloon tonight?

Guess who is under

this big ass skirt!

Who blew up all

these condoms?

They think I'm smiling...

I'm really trying to 

catch my breath

from this 

torture belt

which makes my

40 inch waist

look like a 20 inch one!

I believe in recycling

but did someone have

to make this confetti

out of used toilet paper?

I don't know how 

I got in this picture...

someone just yelled

"all the airheads say cheese!"

I dreamed I was the

belle of the New Year's Eve Ball

in my Maidenform Bra!

New Year's Eve Party For Those My Age...

Are you making plans

for New Year's Eve?

I use to be the life

of every New Year's Eve party,

but things changed.

I got older.

I go to sleep earlier.

Drinking and driving

ain't as popular

as it use to be.

I am afraid that my

alcohol induced memory lapses

could extend into full blown

alzheimers.

I would have to wear

a Depends or run to

the bathroom every five minutes.

I have to put my glasses on

to see who is groping me.

Nobody asks for my ID anymore...

they ask for my AARP card.

I don't like to repeat myself

four or five times

so that my friends can hear me.

That little elastic strap

which holds on the party hat

cuts into my double chin.

Every man in the room

has nose hair and ear hair.

Somebody always spikes

the punch 

with Geritol!

The Best Of All Gifts...

The best of all gifts 

around any Christmas tree: 

the presence of a happy family

all wrapped up in each other. 

---Burton Hillis---

Thank you for being

a part of my

happy family!

Merry Christmas!

Madisyn Says Thanks!

Madisyn and I

want to thank you

for your prayers!

Look how well

those prayers worked!

Madisyn's Mom took

this photo as soon as

she came out of

the anesthetic.

Mom reported that

Madi didn't cry at all!

We are all so proud

of Madisyn...

and so proud of

our blogging family

who were keeping

us in your prayers...

yet again!

Ya'll are the BEST!

Hey, Baby!

Hey, baby!

I need a nap!

I will be back

to post on

Christmas Eve!

Please say a prayer

for my sweet Madisyn

who is having her tonsils

out Tuesday!

Thanks, dear friends!

Nothing Says Christmas Like A....

Ah, yes...

nothing says Christmas

like a gun!

A gift for the 

whole family!

Grandma and Grandpa

have been skipping meals

and saving their money

for your Christmas check...

just so you can 

buy that gun!

Can't trust anybody

to buy you the 

perfect gift?

Buy yourself

that gun!

And don't forget

THAT person

on your list...

a gun would be 

perfect!

And don't forget that

ammo makes a great

stocking stuffer!

Jingle Bells...

Shotgun Shells...

Jingle All The Way!

More Gifts For THAT Person On Your List!

Still not sure what to get

THAT person 

on your list?

THAT person didn't like

the tobacco suggestion?

Of course not...

THAT person

never likes anything!

So what is my helpful

suggestion of the day?

Santa needs it when

he receives his letter

from THAT person...

and all your guests

need it when

THAT person

is around!

Give the gift that

makes THAT person...

friendlier...

and more obnoxious!

The gift that makes

 THAT person

finally like your dog...

and finally like

your husband!

The gift that makes

THAT person

feel cool...

and extra festive!

The gift that makes

THAT person

feel like crap the next day!

Nothing says Merry Christmas

like alcohol!

The perfect gift for

THAT person! 

For THAT Person On Your Gift List!

Yep, the pressure is on!

You are running out of shopping time!

Being the happy little helper

that I am at this time of year,

I am going to run a series of

 suggestions on last minute

holiday gifts for 

THAT person

on your list!

Don't act innocent!

We all have THAT person

on our list!

You know EXACTLY who

THAT person is on your list!

Ready for the suggestion of the day?

Give 'em the gift of...

coughing...

hacking...

bad breath...

stained teeth...

wrinkled skin...

and black lungs!

Nothing says Merry Christmas 

like tobacco!

The perfect gift for

THAT person!